Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Details (in a nutshell)

Many of you have been asking for the details about how we ended up with Mason and Chloe. I have been trying to tell everyone that asks, but sometimes it's really long and frankly, I'm getting tired of repeating myself over and over again. So I decided to post it here, for two reasons: 1) It will be written down while it is still fresh on MY mind in case I forget some of the details later and 2) I can refer people who don't know the whole story to my blog so I don't have to repeat myself yet again! So here is goes:

We have been signed up with LDS Family Services for a few years now and was getting no where except annoyed. (I won't go into details with this, but just know that we kept randomly getting emails from the guy in charge saying that they were missing certain things which I know they had because they went through a check list with us).  We were also looking into doing private adoptions, which seemed to continually fall through.

In January of this year we had yet another adoption fall through a week before the baby was to be born. We were so disappointed, but more tired of the repeated disappointments. We decided to try adopting through the state. We filled out all our paperwork, got physicals, did background checks, gave them our tax info and financial information (the same stuff our previous adoption agency had and kept losing). Everything was turned in and all we had left to do was take the PRIDE classes that  the state required us to have. I made multiple attempts to contact the person in charge, but to no avail all I ever got was her voicemail. After a month and a half I just gave up since the classes for the spring had started by now anyway.

In May my sister-in-law told me about a two siblings that were in state custody. Their Aunt Hollie had them, but was no longer able to care for them. We contacted each other and then the state so that everyone was on the same page. As our luck would have it, the state did not have us in their system anywhere, our paperwork had been "misplaced" (once again all of our private information is no where to be found).

Finally after a little over a week I gave up with them trying to find our paperwork and I just went and got a new packet. I tracked Cody down on his job site and had him sign everything he needed to sign, made copies of what needed to be copied, got medical records from our Dr's and was literally signing the last three pages of the new paperwork when the state called to say that they had found our paperwork, ugh!! I wasn't going to take any chances so I took them the new set. (I won't go into detail how RUDE a certain person was to me when I dropped them off, I will call her Hagitha for now).

I called Hollie to tell her that everything was finally in order and she told me that someone else had just been to her house and picked them up. She thought it was Cody and I until they got talking and realized it wasn't us, but at that point what could she do? We were devastated to say the least. We talked to the state and was told that we couldn't have them until our PRIDE classes were complete (even though the Boise office lets couples have them as long as the classes are taken within 6 months of placement).

So now we had to take the classes. They didn't have any here until September, but we found some classes in Boise for the month of July and signed up for them (after VERY RUDE  Hagitha was once again a {insert naughty word here} to me). They were Friday from 6-9pm and Sat from 9-3:30pm. Cody arranged to get off work those three Fridays by 1pm, we had a sitter lined up for Gavin, and we were going to stay an Cody's Uncle Don's house on Friday nights and drive home Saturday night. They called us the Tuesday before we were suppose to leave and told us there were not enough people signed up they were canceling them.

Plan B- We found some classes in Caldwell, re-scheduled all of our previous arrangements, and was ready to go. These classes were in August, so now the kids were going to be in their foster home getting attached for 2 months now, so frustrating!! Once again they called the week we were suppose to start and told us the class was too full so we were getting kicked out. We would have stopped at this point, but we kept getting the impression to not give up, these kids were meant for us and suppose to be in our home. The family was also rooting for us and wanted us to have them, it was just the state that was being difficult.

Plan C- By this time the next available classes were here in town in September. Good for us because we didn't have to travel, but bad because it was yet another month that the kids were getting attached to the foster family. We started the classes and found out shortly after that the foster parents also wanted to adopt the babies (and who can blame them, the babies are amazing!) as well as a cousin of the birth mom who lives in Washington.

Because of this we had to go through what was called a Selection Committee. Cody and I, along with the other two couples had to meet with a group of about 15 committee members (each couple separately) and be bombarded with question after question for 45 minutes while they looked through our file, profile information, recommendation letters, and the album we had brought of us that had pictures of our family as well us us with the kids. (We had been spending time with them once a week or more since June so they would know us and be familiar with us). We did not sleep the night before because we were so nervous and didn't really sleep because the decision wouldn't be made until the next day.

Thursday, Sept. 22- FINALLY around 1pm we got the call Nelda (name changed). She asked me if Cody was there with me and all I could think was that she was going to tell me we didn't get them and I was going to need him them for support. He was at work, but I told her to tell me anyway. She then proceeded to tell me how it was a difficult decision and there was a lot to take into account blah, blah, blah...all I could think now was that she was just trying to let me down easy, but guess what?!?! She told us that WE WERE CHOSEN TO BE THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS OF MASON AND CHLOE!!!!! I was so excited!!! It was just like being in room #120 at the Econolodge in Lethbridge Canada when we found out we were getting Gavin except it was just me, Nelda on the line and Gavin to celebrate with! I had a few questions and then once I got off the phone I went and told Gavin. He jumped of the couch and said "YEAH! Are they coming right now?" (up until this point we told Gavin they were just "friends" that we were visiting so he didn't have his little heart broken just in case).

Then I called Cody who at the time was on the roof of IHOP doing his HVAC thing that he does. He too was SO EXCITED!!!  I bet if I would've been outside I could've heard him scream! Now the only bad part was that we had to wait until Monday to get them!!!

I do have to say that from the beginning (in Jan.) I was so frustrated  that I was getting no response to my phone calls about taking the classes along with everything else that happened, but looking back we can see now that if we would've taken the classes then, we may have had another child temporarily placed in our home and not had the opportunity to get Mason and Chloe FOREVER!! It's just a reminder that God can see the bigger picture and we just have to be patient with him no matter how hard it is sometimes. If you stay strong you will be blessed!!

Stay tuned to hear about our HAPPY DAY!!!

*  I just need to clarify that not all of the state workers are as mean and difficult as Nelda and Hagitha. Our caseworker is AMAZING and so where the people involved in our PRIDE classes.

3 comments:

Jessie said...

What a nightmare! I am so glad that this story has a happy ending though. Congrats again! I can't wait to hear more about your new family. :)

Beka said...

Teri,
We are so excited for your sweet family! It is gratifying to get to the end of a long road and look back to see the reasons that things worked out the way they did. I'm so glad you shared your story, and even more glad that we saw the link to the blog!

Can't wait to meet Mason & Chloe! :)
Love,
Beka (& Shane, too)

Hayden Funny Farm said...

Wahoo!!!! Loved it, even brought tears to my ears!! Still so excited and happy for alll 5 of you. Wo, you have a family of 5. :)